its amazing how the relationships between human beings can be so complicated. when is it the right time to say what. what is the right thing to say to who. and what is the right thing to do when. its immensely tiring to have to keep thinking about what to say what not to say what to do what not to do. and its painful when you realise that these are things you have to continue keeping in mind even when you're out of the place called office and with people you call friends.
odd string of thoughts and realisations after what was a pretty good day.
1. you know what i miss most about being in tw this time of the year? the year end merchandise from mister donut. T_T
2. the server i uploaded my blog's template to unlinked my photos because i havent logged in for more than 90 days. so i logged in. and realised that i used to post photos like crazy. somehow my life seemed more exciting that way. or maybe my life was more exciting.
3. starting to dread work. bad.
4. can somebody please tell all the ants in the world that my house is not their playground?
5. the mother's coming back in a couple of hours. yay. XD
6. the vo talent said today that my eyes looked like they couldn't be open anymore, just like his. the funny thing is i slept more last night cuz i overslept this morning. by almost an hour. =x
7. i really think my language abilities are deteriorating by the day. and i really hate this.
the mother's away on a holiday with the auntie friends. the sister's away on the honeymoon. and i'm on leave to clean up the house that's been left behind.
was all geared up to do the laundry. and it began to pour.
it's been awhile since i entered this dark, gloomy world. and have killed so many zillion brain cells since. so many thoughts have ran through the head, so many emotions felt. you know how people always say "the more you know, the more you realize you dont know"? it's interesting how this sentence pops up in my head with increasing frequency as the years pass. there seems to be an inverse relationship between my age and the size of my ego. i wonder why.
i used to think that i had rather diverse groups of friends. in that in each of my little groups of friends, there're different kinds of people, and it's this diversity that i got into contact with that made the me today. but in the recent months, there seems to be this irritating commonality in the dinner topics that come up in all these little groups of friends. and it's this.....air of resentment towards the evil colleague/ the bimbo at work/ the difficult to communicate with person/ the one whom i thought was my friend or whatever other variations these exasperating things come in.
it's funny.
one minute everybody can be happily eating and laughing, but once somebody starts the "So, how's Work?" topic, the whole aura changes, and the voices go up, the gestures get bigger, the language becomes increasingly censor worthy, and the tables start becoming victim to angry slams.
why?
i wish i knew. it's not like the function of some people's existence is to shorten the life spans of others (though i seriously do believe in that sometimes). and i bet that somewhere, sometime, the kurobuta that i so genuinely detest with all my heart at certain points of time has been pissed off by me too. but even after wondering why people cannot just work together peacefully and efficiently more than a million times, nothing changes. the wonder remains a wonder. and i can only conclude that wherever there're humans, things are bound to be complicated.
i don't know why i'm spending so much time typing this crap that isnt going to make any difference, but i was just thinking life is too short to be wasting time everyday getting worked up on yet another stupid antic that some clown came up with. and see how i confuse myself? decide not to waste time but happily wasted time anyway. sometimes i really think that i need to figure myself out before thinking about why certain people seem to have non-existent brains.
the rain's stopped, and it's time to get the laundry done.
